Pressures Of Life

When I was in 6th grade, I was part of the swim team.

I trained and trained, until competition day came. I won silver for the Breaststroke round, but I got so nervous for the relay competition that I was too nauseous to continue. I ended up leaving.

Ever since I could remember, competition made me nervous. From first grade up until university, I joined a myriad of competitions. Quiz Bees, “Battle of the Brains” — you name it, I was part of it. I guess I always really wanted to win. I always did my best, but I also wanted to win.

Nowadays, I’m happy living a simple life. I just honestly cannot be bothered with competing with others, especially on social media. It’s more comparison, really. Because how does one win at life anyway?

Snorkelling in the Whitsundays.

What is the point of it all? The nicely arranged photos and squares and thousands of followers. Maybe I don’t understand it yet.

I’m 27. Not too far from 28.

Yes, I’m still young and have my whole life ahead of me, I’ve heard this before. I believe that, don’t get me wrong. But for people my age, I definitely feel the pressure.

You’ve got to be married or at least engaged. Ideally have had at least a full year of travel under your belt. A house would be such an achievement and maybe even doggos or babies. Ten gold stars for you if you have all of the above. I don’t mean to sound bitter or lackadaisical, I actually congratulate those who have an established life. I admit, I’m a little bit jealous. 

But if I’m being honest, an achievement for me — in the season of life I’m in — would be quality time with my friends, and my island family. Editing personal travel photos from the past 5 years and finally sharing them. Finishing all the wedding videos from the season. Successfully making sushi for me and my friends. Reading a good book and completing it. Working out at least 3 times a week. Learning new recipes. Maybe travel to at least one other country each year.

There’s a lot less pressure to please people and a lot more enjoyment for me in all that I’ve just enumerated. 

The famous Hill Inlet, viewed from up above.

Every time I scroll through my feed, there’s the temptation and the danger of feeling inadequate. 

Oh I’m not traveling.
Oh I’m not getting paid to travel and make content.
Oh I’m not engaged.
Oh I’m not married.
Oh I don’t have a family.
Oh I don’t have a doggo. (This I can be angry about)
Oh I don’t own a house.
Oh I don’t have a million followers.

GEEZ. Calm yo titties.

I actually have to shake my head and remind myself to stop this self-destructive habit of comparison. There is NO PRESSURE from anyone. At all. (Apart from my mother who wants grandchildren ASAP lol). 

Seriously though. There is no specific timeline or path that we need to follow. All of us, individually, have our own beautiful journey. I say this because I personally constantly feel the pressure and need the reminder. 

Enjoying the weekend at Whitehaven Beach.

Take a deep breath, stay present, and look around you. 

Reflect on what you have right now. 

I am grateful to have a comfortable home, a job that I enjoy and a job that gives me a chance to go on helicopters and capture people in love, a successful business, a close knit community that I can have fun with, family who indubitably care for me and constantly pray for me, a healthy and functioning body that allows me to work out whenever I want to, and the opportunity to live in one of the best island resorts in the world. 

Even simply one of those things is enough. What you have right now is more than enough. 

Things change so quickly, and you never know what’s around the corner. There is no need to rush. Yes, support and celebrate what other people have if that’s where you’re at, and if there’s a pang of jealousy, acknowledge it and move on. Remember to enjoy what you have and what journey you’re in. 

In saying that, don’t forget to dream. I still have my bucket list, and all the lists of places I want to travel to and things I want to do. I know they will happen in time.

Let go of the pressure, and practise the balance of contentment and goal-setting.