Thank You, 2018.

What a year it has been.

It started by welcoming a new year in the Philippines, in my hometown, in the street I grew up in. A few days later, I flew home to New Zealand to get into the thick of wedding season. Sam and I visited a number of places in the first quarter of the year: Kaikoura, Coromandel, Taupo, Rotorua, and Tauranga. I photographed one of my closest friend’s wedding in Bali. We moved to Australia, in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef — Hamilton Island. There were parties, endless beach days, boat rides, more parties, and goodbyes. We had a memorable holiday in Fiji. I scuba dived for the first time. I moved back home, and moved to the Mount to be closer to the beach. Sam and I broke up.

It was a year of so many highs, and equally so many lows.

I don’t regret any of it. I sometimes think I could have grown more and learnt things faster, and made less mistakes, but I know I can’t change anything. I just have to move forward. I guess it’s true what they say. Everything happens for a reason. Someone I met recently mentioned, “Everything means something.” I believe it’s true.

Mostly, as I think of the year that’s been and gone, I feel grateful. I’m still grieving, I miss him, and I’m sad. But, I also feel grateful and I feel joy. For all the wonderful experiences I’ve had this year. For meeting all the amazing people during our travels, and gaining friends for life. For the opportunity to explore new places and continue having more adventures. For loved ones, everywhere.

Thank you for everything you have given me, 2018. In the last 365 days, I have grown in ways I never thought I could, laughed til no sounds came out, cried my soul dry, drank the most amount of alcohol, ate all the best food, filmed and photographed a plethora of incredible weddings, been on at least 30 plane rides, got to sit in a helicopter countless times, swam in the bluest of oceans, hugged the most amazing friends a girl could have, and had the chance to love one of the best humans anyone could ever love.

Something I will continue to reflect on as I begin 2019: Don’t give in to fear and anxiety. Acknowledge their presence, and let them go. Act out of love, rather than fear. Do what makes you come alive. Be kind, in all circumstances.

Take some time over the next few days to breathe and reflect on what the year has taught you. I pray 2019 brings all of us more adventures, more life, and more joy.

This is what I know to be true:

In the stillness, I have love.